Crystal Drags Me to Church
One day, Crystal decided I needed to go to church.
I told Crystal I did not, either, need to go to any stupid church. I already went once, and didn't like it.
Crystal said if I didn't go to church and get baptized and stuff, that my immortal soul would burn forever in a lake of fire. She said I needed to be saved.
I told her I didn't believe her. I didn't want to be saved, whatever that was. If what she said was true, everybody would go to church; but Daddy didn't go, and I wasn't going either. She could not make me.
Crystal go all red in the face. "We'll see about that," she said. She left. I went down to the billiard room to shoot some pool.
After a while, Daddy came in. "Son, I want you to do this for me."
"But I don't like church and I don't like Jesus either."
"Biff, this has nothing to do with what you like or not, or what you think of Jesus. Someday, you'll understand."
"Tell me now Daddy. I can't wait for someday."
"Okay." Daddy looked down at the green table. He fingered the cue ball for a second. "You keep what you really think to yourself. Don't give anything away. If people know what you really think, they can use it for their profit at your expense." He looked in my eyes. I always got nervous looking into his eyes. The blue part was like the highest part of the sky on a bright, cloudless day. When he looked into your eyes, you couldn't look away. No one else ever had eyes like Daddy.
"What's important is what people think you believe. You have to act like you think like them, even though you are much smarter and don't believe their silly ideas. But if you want them to buy from you, they have to think you believe the same way as they do."
I didn't see that at all. "So, it's like a trick you play on people?"
Daddy smiled and nodded. "Yes, that's about it. You have to go to church so you can act like you are like other people."
"But I don't have to be like them?"
"Just pretend. You'll understand when you are older."
"Well, I still don't like it. But I guess you are the boss." I hesitated. "Why don't you go?"
"I already paid for the church, and I'm the boss. Any other questions?"
"No sir." I knew I had to go. Daddy said I did, and no one ever didn't do what Daddy said. But I didn't have to like it. That darned Jesus sure stirred up a lot of trouble.
I told Crystal I did not, either, need to go to any stupid church. I already went once, and didn't like it.
Crystal said if I didn't go to church and get baptized and stuff, that my immortal soul would burn forever in a lake of fire. She said I needed to be saved.
I told her I didn't believe her. I didn't want to be saved, whatever that was. If what she said was true, everybody would go to church; but Daddy didn't go, and I wasn't going either. She could not make me.
Crystal go all red in the face. "We'll see about that," she said. She left. I went down to the billiard room to shoot some pool.
After a while, Daddy came in. "Son, I want you to do this for me."
"But I don't like church and I don't like Jesus either."
"Biff, this has nothing to do with what you like or not, or what you think of Jesus. Someday, you'll understand."
"Tell me now Daddy. I can't wait for someday."
"Okay." Daddy looked down at the green table. He fingered the cue ball for a second. "You keep what you really think to yourself. Don't give anything away. If people know what you really think, they can use it for their profit at your expense." He looked in my eyes. I always got nervous looking into his eyes. The blue part was like the highest part of the sky on a bright, cloudless day. When he looked into your eyes, you couldn't look away. No one else ever had eyes like Daddy.
"What's important is what people think you believe. You have to act like you think like them, even though you are much smarter and don't believe their silly ideas. But if you want them to buy from you, they have to think you believe the same way as they do."
I didn't see that at all. "So, it's like a trick you play on people?"
Daddy smiled and nodded. "Yes, that's about it. You have to go to church so you can act like you are like other people."
"But I don't have to be like them?"
"Just pretend. You'll understand when you are older."
"Well, I still don't like it. But I guess you are the boss." I hesitated. "Why don't you go?"
"I already paid for the church, and I'm the boss. Any other questions?"
"No sir." I knew I had to go. Daddy said I did, and no one ever didn't do what Daddy said. But I didn't have to like it. That darned Jesus sure stirred up a lot of trouble.
posted by Biff at
4:15 PM
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