Biff Gets a New Mommy

One day, Daddy brought me a new Mommy.

I was sitting on my mat, in front of my mechanical Santa. He smiled and nodded; his glass eyes sparkled. His gears whirred.

I heard Daddy's footsteps coming down the hall. I thought it odd; he never came to the third floor.

The door opened. "Come on downstairs Biff," he said, " I want you to meet somebody."

The woman had yellow hair and very dark, black eyebrows. She looked a little like Nanny Camille. She held out her hand; I shook it. It was like holding a glass full of ice water that had been out for a while. I wiped my fingers on my shirt.

"This will be your new Mommy," said Daddy. "Her name is Crystal, but I want you to call her Mommy."

I said nothing.

"She will take care of you on nanny's day off," Daddy said.

"Oh, he's darling," said Crystal. "What a little gentleman!"

"Biff, say something to your new mommy," Daddy said.

I didn't know what to say.

"Biff," Daddy said.

I thought for a moment. "How much did you cost?" I asked.

I never saw a woman's face get so red before.

"Biff, you can go now," said Daddy.

I went back upstairs. I decided to tell Santa about my new mommy. But then I thought, he already knows. "Santa sees you when you're sleeping, he sees you when you're awake."

But I told him anyway.